The Top 5 Excuses For Avoiding Sex

Sex & Humor

This post really needs no introduction because we all know what this is about. We all do it, about equally the same might I add. Sometimes they catch you on a bad day, or they ask 30 seconds into you nodding off to sleep. (Don’t you hate that?) Aunt Flow

1. “Aunt Flow is in town”: Ladies, unfortunately you’re the only culprits for this one. It really only works when the guy is pretty new and doesn’t know you well enough to know your “special schedule” yet. It also works well when a guy just can’t catch a hint. It kind of strokes his ego into thinking he’s moved on by choice.

Too tired to have sex.

2. “I’m too tired”: Both guys and gals are pretty guilty of this lame excuse. Let’s face it, if you’re too tired to do “the do”, shouldn’t you be too tired to stay up and read that book that you’ve been reading for 3 months or watch that lame show that comes on at 10:30, while Facebook stalking your old college roommate? Right, I thought so.

3. “I’m sore from my workout at the gym”: Where to start with this one? Well, there’s always a nice little anti-inflammatory medicine you could pop for that, or a heating pad, or a nice epsom salt bath, or how about this; a wonderful massage from that hottie next to you asking for some attention to get things going? Is it safe to say this excuse is my least favorite?

Kids Listening

4. “The kids will hear us”: Depending on the age of your kids and the time of night, this excuse is really a bunch of bologna. The older kids really try to tune out your hilarious moans and groans as much as humanly possible, while the babies very rarely hear anything, and that’s if they’re actually awake. Don’t let your roles as parents get in the way of the love you have for one another.

5. “I have to be up early in the morning”: What mornings do most adults not have to be up early? We all have jobs, responsibilities, errands, chores, and the list goes on and on and will never stop. So using the fact that you have to be up at 6am is probably the second biggest cop out of them all (next to number 3). Get a cup of coffee, a Red Bull, and man up (you too ladies)!

What other ridiculous excuses have you heard? Comment below with your funniest stories!

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